Me: Struggles of Growing Up Without My ASD Diagnosis (Part 2)
I started to go to the library to rent all kinds of books, it was quiet, and I was surrounded by knowledge, I loved it. Unfortunately, I had a lot of trouble reading them as I suffer from dyslexia. I would have less trouble with physics and mathematics, but I kept trying anyways. It was the only way to learn what I found interesting and get answers. The bad part of learning a lot by yourself at a young age is not knowing where to start and how to continue. I found myself always going back and forward all the time, not knowing I needed prior knowledge to fully understand what I was learning. Changing fields constantly, but always coming back to each of them, as curiosity would overwhelm me. On the bright side, every new little thing I learned got to be processed with all I already knew, and the new connections and discoveries I made were very rewarding. Looking back, I wish I took my time or took lessons to learn one thing very well. I could have taken the discipline and know-how and reproduce it on other things I wanted to learn.
I think imagination and creativity is a big part of being on the spectrum. I found my way mostly through playing musical instruments and drawing. Music would put my mind and mood at ease, and drawing would make my mind chase away the traffic so I could focus on what I was doing. Being stuck in your own mind is no gift when growing up, the feeling of being an imposter and not understanding people is not pleasant. Luckily, now there is more awareness and help out there for young people with ASD.
Everyone deserves a chance to unleash their full potential and contribute to the world. My favorite metaphor “standing on the shoulders of giants” is exactly how I felt and will always see the world. It has always motivated me to take part and go out of my comfort zone to learn more and do more. Hopefully, now I can help others do so as well.